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20261012 223000 UTC
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[00:02:24] Thank you viewers, still with us on
[00:02:27] the amount of savings that matches the price of the shoes Serambi Islami discussing the theme towards a golden generation, still in
[00:02:29] the segment. Let's talk about it, let's look at
[00:02:33] the following social media question.
[00:02:36] self-confidence in themselves. Now, at Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi
[00:02:39] wabarakatuh, greetings, I am Dewi Kusuma from Depok,
[00:02:43] I want to ask, every day our children are exposed to
[00:02:47] the digital world which is full of flexing culture and
[00:02:50] hedonism that is so intense. No matter how strong
[00:02:53] the education at home, they have to face temptations that are just as strong outside.
[00:02:56] What are the tips for parents? Thank you.
[00:03:00] Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi
[00:03:03] wabarakatuh, yes, that's it because it's their era, ma'am. Earlier
[00:03:07] I often stated that this is something that cannot be avoided,
[00:03:11] that's why being a parent in this era has bigger challenges
[00:03:14] than in our time, ma'am. Oh Allah ma'am, public telephone facilities in our time
[00:03:18] were only for certain people, ma'am, we used to be so happy
[00:03:22] to receive a letter from the postman. Oh
[00:03:26] now with telegram, mashallah, this is the development we have.
[00:03:30] I don't deny it, ma'am, this is a consequence, it's just
[00:03:33] how we as parents have
[00:03:36] a pattern, what's it called, an approach to children, this touch-and-go
[00:03:39] is the standard, ma'am, it's the most accurate, and I still
[00:03:43] stick to one principle, what? Uswatun Hasanah,
[00:03:47] hmm, role model, example of behavior, ma'am,
[00:03:50] the most daily thing, ma'am, if we want
[00:03:54] To to tell children to pray, never do it while holding this, ma'am, the
[00:03:56] flat one.
[00:03:59] Ma'am, the flat one, brought to prayer, eh,
[00:04:02] prayer, it won't move, ma'am, because they see
[00:04:05] us. If we want our children to pray, we're already wearing our prayer
[00:04:09] clothes, ma'am, already carrying our prayer mat. The father is in front of me, ma'am.
[00:04:12] When we want to pray in congregation, the father is ready, I am ready, we wait
[00:04:16] together, oh Allah, the mother and father wait
[00:04:19] for their children to what? Create a situation
[00:04:22] where children leave their habits. No need for many
[00:04:26] words, they'll feel uncomfortable themselves when their parents are waiting.
[00:04:30] That's right, ma'am, so there's a role model that we
[00:04:34] have to highlight for children. Now, the second
[00:04:37] principle, ma'am, yes, this principle of love and affection should not
[00:04:41] disappear, ma'am. Sometimes we are also just as busy as our children,
[00:04:45] even no less emotional, mashallah, yes,
[00:04:48] busy, because most of the time we ignore them, so they
[00:04:51] also look for things to do, and it's fine, ma'am, but we
[00:04:56] have been prepared with all the potential they have to be sure that children will always need us.
[00:05:12] the path of parents is certainly special, so don't
[00:05:15] say that it feels
[00:05:18] overwhelmed, ma'am, it will never be that
[00:05:22] parents lose their reference, don't say overwhelmed, second, don't
[00:05:26] say tired, don't say exhausted, mashallah, yes,
[00:05:29] capable, ma'am, this whole body is torn apart, ma'am. You have
[00:05:32] gone through all of that, ma'am, how much blood came out that was once
[00:05:36] whole, destroyed, cut open, even some mothers have stomachs
[00:05:40] that are like a vertical letter L.
[00:06:13] Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi
[00:06:17] wabarakatuh, my name is Sriati
[00:06:21] from Majelis Taklim Al-Muhajirin Cikarang Barat.
[00:06:25] Uh, may I ask, Umi,
[00:06:29] which
[00:06:31] episode in the stage of a child's
[00:06:35] growth and development influences the child's
[00:06:39] personality? Maybe that's all the question. Oh, which episode?
[00:06:59] So if we look at a child from birth, 0
[00:07:03] years old until 7 years old, ma'am, this is the golden
[00:07:06] age. It's called the golden age, the golden age of a child's growth
[00:07:10] and development. Now, during that period, these developmental tasks
[00:07:14] need to be completed and need to be helped to be completed.
[00:07:17] If the first one is at the age of 0 to 1 year,
[00:07:21] he develops trust versus mistrust.
[00:07:24] So trust and distrust. A baby
[00:07:27] aged 0 to 1 year can't do anything yet, but their needs
[00:07:31] are many, right? Their needs are many. They need diaper changes, need
[00:07:34] feeding, also need a peaceful sleep. Now, how do
[00:07:37] we facilitate that? If we quickly
[00:07:41] facilitate their needs. When their needs are met, that will build a sense
[00:07:44] of trust in the environment and
[00:07:48] the age of 2 to 3 years, that will be
[00:07:52] developed into an independent attitude, that independence. But if, for example, that independence
[00:07:55] is picked at, laughed at by
[00:07:58] the family or their older sibling, if they're laughed at a lot
[00:08:01] and bullied a lot, oh, your choice is not good, don't choose this, it's bad,
[00:08:05] you're whatever, etcetera, right? That will foster a sense of shame, then
[00:08:09] doubt, is it really like what I said earlier? Then
[00:08:13] they start to reach the age of
[00:08:16] uh, uh, 6 to 12 years old, that also
[00:08:19] develops industry. So they do a lot of creative things, like
[00:08:23] scribbling, creativity. So they're scribbling, making origami, it's messy,
[00:08:26] that's why we also teach responsibility so that, oh,
[00:08:29] after being messy, it's allowed, but clean it up later. So that character
[00:08:33] is built during that golden age. And this is very important.
[00:08:36] And don't say that, you know, this is trivial,
[00:08:39] just babies. It's very influential,
[00:08:43] ma'am. Even when a baby pees on us, and we immediately get startled and the baby
[00:08:46] falls, that also might make the child experience trust issues
[00:08:50] in their adulthood, because why did my mother, who
[00:08:53] supposedly accepted me as I am, let go of me when I peed? So things
[00:08:57] like that are very influential
[00:09:01] on a child's personality in the future. And this,
[00:09:05] the 0 to 7 golden age is indeed the next stage, adolescence,
[00:09:08] late childhood, we still need to accompany them, but
[00:09:12] the foundation starts from 0 to 7 years old. Umi, please
[00:09:15] add something. This is something we often skip, mothers,
[00:09:19] because of our lack of knowledge, especially if it's our first
[00:09:22] child, maybe we lack experience. What do you say, Umi? What is called fitrah?
[00:09:26] That is
[00:09:31] the scribble, what do you want to make it into? Of course, all
[00:09:35] mothers, those traces will be on that white paper. The first
[00:09:39] scribble, let's say we made a mistake, ma'am, erasing it won't
[00:09:42] fool anyone, ma'am, the paper won't be as white as before. Right, ma'am, there used
[00:09:46] to be an eraser, ma'am, right? When you erased it, it was black, the mark, ma'am,
[00:09:50] in those days. Yes, it would be very visible. So what does that mean?
[00:09:53] The first note, the initial note, really leaves a mark,
[00:09:57] ma'am. That's why, oh Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala
[00:10:00] gave a guidance through the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, right? What,
[00:10:04] what, when our child is born, call the adhan in their right ear,
[00:10:07] iqamah in their left ear. That's tawhidullah before they
[00:10:10] hear any sounds in this world.
[00:10:12] And then they are guided continuously with tawhidullah through what? Through
[00:10:16] the guidance of their parents, starting from the flow of halal food in
[00:10:20] their body, all of that also influences the growth and development of our children.
[00:10:24] Excuse me, ma'am, sometimes we miss the times that were called
[00:10:27] the golden age, when children were so difficult to manage.
[00:10:31] When they needed us, why did we ignore them? When
[00:10:35] they wanted to express something to us, which was our
[00:10:38] obligation and their right, why did we ignore them? We used
[00:10:42] to think like this: when a baby was
[00:10:45] carried by the Prophet, suddenly it peed. His mother felt
[00:10:49] uncomfortable and wanted to, in Betawi language, wanted to pull it away, right? Wanted
[00:10:53] to take it, right? But "what did the Prophet
[00:10:56] say?
[00:10:58] Yes, whoever has no love will not be loved, they are just children." Right?
[00:11:02] So, mashallah, ma'am, education is so
[00:11:05] powerful. That's why parents who usually speak softly, suddenly
[00:11:09] their child comes home, and the parent says this, "That's trash talk, where did you get
[00:11:13] that from?" Because we never had anything like that in our house.
[00:11:16] Even my mother once heard
[00:11:19] her son being called, a boy, calling, we
[00:11:23] were all confused who he was calling? But he was standing in front of our house,
[00:11:27] apparently calling my younger brother with a familiar nickname. My
[00:11:29] mother immediately scolded that child, "Hey, where did
[00:11:32] that name come from? My child's name is not that." So we quickly
[00:11:36] remove bad things from our children. Instead, parents
[00:11:40] are calling their children with titles from their friends. That's negative,
[00:11:44] oh Allah, oh Lord. We are still in the complaint
[00:11:47] room segment. Let's
[00:11:50] look at the following social media question.
[00:11:53] ini?
[00:11:56] Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, greetings, I am
[00:11:59] Lukman Hakim, a loyal viewer of Serambi Islami on Tuesday,
[00:12:02] mashallah. May I ask how to foster awareness and
[00:12:06] responsibility for performing prayers in children, especially Fajr and
[00:12:10] Isha prayers? It feels like a struggle. Same
[00:12:13] here, sir. Thank you. Wasalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
[00:12:16] Waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. We wake them up at 3:30,
[00:12:20] maybe they just spread their prayer mat at 4:30 for those who are still
[00:12:24] like this, mashallah, yes,
[00:12:26] that's the same,
[00:12:30] it's a real struggle, but again, it's about whether the habit
[00:12:33] is built or not. If it's built,
[00:12:37] because children's habits are built with repetition, there's
[00:12:40] repetition, and habits are formed in 20
[00:12:44] days, uh, more than 20 days. If
[00:12:47] it's repeated every day, they're woken up. Sometimes we say, oh,
[00:12:51] poor thing, tomorrow is a holiday, let them not pray Fajr today. That's
[00:12:55] a break, and they might have to start over for the first 20 days again.
[00:12:58] So, it takes 20 times
[00:13:02] of repetition for it to become a habit. That's
[00:13:05] the first thing. The second is, is there a role model or not? When the child
[00:13:09] has an alarm to wake up for Fajr, are we still snuggling
[00:13:13] or, like Umi and Abi just now, mashallah, they've already spread their prayer mats.
[00:13:16] After a while, they'll feel uncomfortable, there's a role model. If there's
[00:13:20] a role model, it's easy. So we don't have to struggle, we just
[00:13:23] struggle with this. Then, the third, what is the meaning? Does the child
[00:13:27] understand the meaning of this Fajr prayer? Have they ever been given the meaning
[00:13:30] of prayer for them? This is it, this is it.
[00:13:34] And children, during childhood, their prefrontal
[00:13:37] cortex, right? The front part of the brain that
[00:13:41] functions for rational decision-making
[00:13:44] is not fully functional yet. What is already functional is
[00:13:47] the emotional system. So we can't force children using knowledge
[00:13:51] of hadith like this, but we need
[00:13:55] love, because the limbic system is dominant, feelings.
[00:13:58] So it needs to be done in a
[00:14:01] joyful atmosphere. Prayer time is time to gather
[00:14:04] with children, with family, right? So it's a
[00:14:07] pleasant time, not a terrifying obligation.
[00:14:11] So it's a time where children think, oh, I'm so happy when I get a role.
[00:14:14] They are given roles, like giving the adhan, oh, when their older sibling
[00:14:18] gives the iqamah and so on. So these roles also motivate children
[00:14:22] and make them happy to face prayer.
[00:14:25] "Honestly, Umi, I still have difficulty with this one, because sometimes
[00:14:29] at Fajr, the time is short. My husband
[00:14:32] and I pray first because we want to be devout, not to be disturbed. In the end, the children
[00:14:36] have a lot of drama during Fajr prayer. What do you think, Umi?" "It's okay, everything
[00:14:39] has its phase, its process. If they know Fajr time,
[00:14:43] Zuhr time, Maghrib time, what is it, that's already a big capital, ma'am.
[00:14:47] It means we are habituating children to know that there are five times that are
[00:14:50] obligatory. Yes, yes, when they were children, we couldn't force them,
[00:14:54] right?" "Maybe it's like what Umi said earlier, it's not relevant to Teh Widi,
[00:14:58] right? When our children are already big, already adults,
[00:15:02] so when they are still young, it means their quickness when
[00:15:05] the time for Fajr prayer comes, that's already a big point for them to instill
[00:15:08] the awareness that prayer time has come, ma'am.
[00:15:12] The female companions, the Salafus Saleh, that's why they instilled religious
[00:15:16] education with love, ma'am. Even though they were all scholars,
[00:15:20] all Hadith experts, all Hafiz,
[00:15:23] but is it true that they didn't explain verses about prayer like this? That's not
[00:15:26] possible. But what did the companions do? They carried their children
[00:15:30] to the bathroom, cleaned them,
[00:15:33] performed ablution for them, prayed together. Even in our childhood,
[00:15:37] boys were made to wear sarongs, like their fathers. Where did they learn
[00:15:41] that? From their fathers, of course. If their fathers never wore sarongs, then
[00:15:44] children need role models, ma'am, right?
[00:15:48] That's why there are children who wear sarongs like their fathers, why? Because their fathers taught
[00:15:51] them. Everything is a duplicate of their
[00:15:54] parents. So this is a very fundamental imitation
[00:15:58] for all of us, ma'am, right? It cannot be denied. Now, if
[00:16:01] those phases, these stages have passed, then
[00:16:05] the education model is different again.
[00:16:10] So, if our house is on fire, our children
[00:16:13] will be woken up, right? We will definitely try our best to wake them up, even drag
[00:16:16] them. Now, what if they are exposed to hellfire? We don't want that,
[00:16:20] right? So maybe that is the basis
[00:16:23] of the analogy. What if it's hellfire? It's
[00:16:26] hotter than earthly fire. If our house is on fire, we wake them up
[00:16:30] with all our might. That's also a struggle.
[00:16:33] Still in the complaint room segment. Complaint. The
[00:16:37] next one, please, please.
[00:16:40] Yes.
[00:16:44] Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Waalaikumsalam
[00:16:48] warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Everyone, let me introduce
[00:16:51] myself. I am Ibu Siti Khadijah from Majelis Taklim Al-Muhajirin
[00:16:55] Cikarang Barat. Umi, I want to ask
[00:16:58] about the golden
[00:17:02] generation during the time of the Prophet and
[00:17:06] the Salafus Saleh. Please elaborate.
[00:17:09] Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi
[00:17:13] wabarakatuh. Please, Umi. Indeed, the best generation
[00:17:16] is three generations, ma'am, right? The first is the generation
[00:17:19] of companions. Who are the companions? The companions are
[00:17:23] those who lived with the Prophet and followed the teachings
[00:17:26] of the Prophet, right? The Khulafa Rashidin and other
[00:17:29] companions of the Prophet. This was the golden age where the
[00:17:33] companions were not just entrepreneurs, but
[00:17:35] also very faithful and
[00:17:39] pious. They were loyal to the Prophet, they understood
[00:17:42] their ta'awun fiddin, they strived outwardly and inwardly, body and soul for
[00:17:46] the religion. These are the companions. The second are the Tabi'un. Who
[00:17:49] are these Tabi'un? The Tabi'un are the generation after the companions. They did not
[00:17:53] meet the Prophet, but they met the companions of the Prophet. They
[00:17:56] practiced the Sharia of the Prophet. Now this generation of Tabi'un is also included
[00:18:00] in the golden category, where the struggle of
[00:18:03] Islam, Islam spread throughout Europe, this was also due to
[00:18:07] the struggle of the Tabi'un. So here the superior generations emerged during the time
[00:18:11] of the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, then the Tabi'ut.
[00:18:14] The Tabi'ut Tabi'in, this is the third generation. So they did not meet
[00:18:18] the companions, they met the Tabi'in, so they are called the Tabi'in
[00:18:21] Tabi'in. They followed the teachings of the
[00:18:24] companions, so these are called the high-quality generations.
[00:18:27] So where are we? Now, the entirety of all of that is
[00:18:30] Salafus Saleh, people who pave the way for righteous people.
[00:18:34] That's why these prayers that we recite, ma'am, even though we didn't meet
[00:18:37] the Prophet, didn't meet the companions, didn't meet the Tabi'in, didn't
[00:18:41] meet the Tabi'ut Tabi'in, but we are all followers
[00:18:44] of them. So let's just call ourselves now parents
[00:18:48] who want to create a Salafus Saleh generation.
[00:18:51] Insha'Allah. Well, dear viewers, we will continue our discussion later,
[00:18:55] don't go anywhere, stay with Serambi Islami.
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[00:21:59] Alright viewers, thank you for still being with us on Serambi Islami, we are entering the
[00:22:03] last segment, but there is one more question for Bahena regarding
[00:22:06] the most beautiful gift from parents
[00:22:10] to their children, which is challenges. Sometimes it's true, children need to be given
[00:22:14] challenges, given stimulation so that they become intelligent in finding
[00:22:17] solutions, right? Just let children
[00:22:21] face their own problems, please. Yes, that's right. So, besides
[00:22:24] prayer, right? Prayer and our attachment to Allah, that
[00:22:28] cannot be denied, right? It cannot be disputed. But
[00:22:32] giving opportunities, we give children the opportunity
[00:22:35] to experience difficulties. If we have difficulties, just tell
[00:22:39] the children, right? Which is clearly not adult difficulties,
[00:22:43] right? But children need to go through a phase
[00:22:46] where they struggle, they struggle for something
[00:22:50] they want. For example, if we already have money, we have money, the child wants
[00:22:54] soccer shoes because they love soccer. We give them a challenge,
[00:22:58] oh, save money, right? How much per day? If you are disciplined, you will reach
[00:23:02] the price of the shoes you want by this date. Even though we
[00:23:06] actually have money for it, that's the impression, right? But
[00:23:10] how the child achieves their desire through their own struggle so that
[00:23:13] when they reach
[00:23:17] they want, mashallah, I succeeded.
[00:23:50] by life, he can spring upwards, springing upwards.
[00:23:53] Now, springing upwards requires a flat base. If we imagine ourselves
[00:23:57] as a good quality bouncy ball thrown, it needs to bounce upwards,
[00:24:01] the base needs to be flat. A flat base
[00:24:04] is a soul that has a good self-concept, a good way of viewing
[00:24:07] themselves, good self-esteem, then
[00:24:10] their intellect is also good, then their ability to
[00:24:14] regulate emotions, good emotional management. Now, the protective
[00:24:18] factor and other balancing factors are support.
[00:24:29] that will be very good, they have strong resilience against
[00:24:33] challenges. So, yes, self-esteem, as I said earlier,
[00:24:36] must be positive. Alright Umi, I still want to
[00:24:39] chat, but we have to conclude, Umi, please.
[00:24:44] those whom Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has blessed, the Serambi Islami study
[00:24:47] on Tuesday morning, thank you for staying with us from the beginning,
[00:24:50] hopefully what we have presented can guide us towards a better quality
[00:24:54] of life, amen. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has
[00:24:57] warned us long ago in the Holy Quran that
[00:25:01] we should not leave behind a weak generation,
[00:25:04] that we must be vigilant and have
[00:25:07] knowledge so that our children are protected from hellfire,
[00:25:10] so our knowledge about how to have children who
[00:25:14] are of good quality is actually a learning process that will never
[00:25:17] stop, even though we are not young anymore, but Allah
[00:25:21] still gives us the opportunity to live side by side with our children,
[00:25:25] keep expending energy, keep seeking
[00:25:28] provisions so that our children can be guided by us,
[00:25:32] can be led by us towards the path that Allah is pleased with and so that they are ready
[00:25:36] to face all the challenges that they are facing in this era,
[00:25:39] trust me, mothers, Allah will not abandon
[00:25:43] His servants, because His servants
[00:25:46] possess for every era and situation.
[00:25:50] And insha'Allah, hopefully we are included there, we guide our children
[00:25:54] with prayers, we guide them with our
[00:25:57] hopes that we lift up to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, thank
[00:26:01] you, insha'Allah. Thank you Umi for your explanation, Teh Hena,
[00:26:04] we will talk again on another topic. Efi and Aida,
[00:26:08] Shukron, amazing mothers who have attended Majelis
[00:26:12] Rambi Islami. Viewers, a fragile
[00:26:15] mentality cannot find solutions because from
[00:26:18] childhood, everything was served to them, wrong upbringing from an early age,
[00:26:22] even though parents won't always be there. Give
[00:26:25] them challenges to be independent so that they will eventually become true human
[00:26:29] beings. Thank you for your attention. Joining us on Serambi Islami. To conclude,
[00:26:33] let's offer a prayer that will be led by Umi, please.
[00:26:36] Let's pray, hopefully all the good things
[00:26:40] within us will be answered directly and
[00:26:44] we are always under His protection.
[00:26:46] Bismillahirahmanirahim Astaghfirullahalazim, la
[00:26:50] hawla wala quwwata illa billahil aliyyil azim.
[00:26:53] Wa hasbunallah wanikmal wakeel.
[00:26:56] Nikmal nasir. Oh Allah,
[00:26:59] most gracious, most merciful, guide us always as parents
[00:27:02] to have knowledge and understanding to
[00:27:06] accompany our children who live in their time,
[00:27:10] who live full of challenges and trials. Oh Allah,
[00:27:14] oh Lord, most gracious, most merciful, open the hearts
[00:27:17] of our children so that they may see the truth truly,
[00:27:20] show them that what is right is right
[00:27:24] and what is wrong is wrong, and make
[00:27:28] us mature parents, parents who are
[00:27:31] truly desired.
[00:28:02] with a different theme. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi
[00:28:05] wabarakatuh. Waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.