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00:02:24Thank you viewers, still with us on
00:02:27the amount of savings that matches the price of the shoes Serambi Islami discussing the theme towards a golden generation, still in
00:02:29the segment. Let's talk about it, let's look at
00:02:33the following social media question.
00:02:36self-confidence in themselves. Now, at Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi
00:02:39wabarakatuh, greetings, I am Dewi Kusuma from Depok,
00:02:43I want to ask, every day our children are exposed to
00:02:47the digital world which is full of flexing culture and
00:02:50hedonism that is so intense. No matter how strong
00:02:53the education at home, they have to face temptations that are just as strong outside.
00:02:56What are the tips for parents? Thank you.
00:03:00Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi
00:03:03wabarakatuh, yes, that's it because it's their era, ma'am. Earlier
00:03:07I often stated that this is something that cannot be avoided,
00:03:11that's why being a parent in this era has bigger challenges
00:03:14than in our time, ma'am. Oh Allah ma'am, public telephone facilities in our time
00:03:18were only for certain people, ma'am, we used to be so happy
00:03:22to receive a letter from the postman. Oh
00:03:26now with telegram, mashallah, this is the development we have.
00:03:30I don't deny it, ma'am, this is a consequence, it's just
00:03:33how we as parents have
00:03:36a pattern, what's it called, an approach to children, this touch-and-go
00:03:39is the standard, ma'am, it's the most accurate, and I still
00:03:43stick to one principle, what? Uswatun Hasanah,
00:03:47hmm, role model, example of behavior, ma'am,
00:03:50the most daily thing, ma'am, if we want
00:03:54To to tell children to pray, never do it while holding this, ma'am, the
00:03:56flat one.
00:03:59Ma'am, the flat one, brought to prayer, eh,
00:04:02prayer, it won't move, ma'am, because they see
00:04:05us. If we want our children to pray, we're already wearing our prayer
00:04:09clothes, ma'am, already carrying our prayer mat. The father is in front of me, ma'am.
00:04:12When we want to pray in congregation, the father is ready, I am ready, we wait
00:04:16together, oh Allah, the mother and father wait
00:04:19for their children to what? Create a situation
00:04:22where children leave their habits. No need for many
00:04:26words, they'll feel uncomfortable themselves when their parents are waiting.
00:04:30That's right, ma'am, so there's a role model that we
00:04:34have to highlight for children. Now, the second
00:04:37principle, ma'am, yes, this principle of love and affection should not
00:04:41disappear, ma'am. Sometimes we are also just as busy as our children,
00:04:45even no less emotional, mashallah, yes,
00:04:48busy, because most of the time we ignore them, so they
00:04:51also look for things to do, and it's fine, ma'am, but we
00:04:56have been prepared with all the potential they have to be sure that children will always need us.
00:05:12the path of parents is certainly special, so don't
00:05:15say that it feels
00:05:18overwhelmed, ma'am, it will never be that
00:05:22parents lose their reference, don't say overwhelmed, second, don't
00:05:26say tired, don't say exhausted, mashallah, yes,
00:05:29capable, ma'am, this whole body is torn apart, ma'am. You have
00:05:32gone through all of that, ma'am, how much blood came out that was once
00:05:36whole, destroyed, cut open, even some mothers have stomachs
00:05:40that are like a vertical letter L.
00:06:13Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi
00:06:17wabarakatuh, my name is Sriati
00:06:21from Majelis Taklim Al-Muhajirin Cikarang Barat.
00:06:25Uh, may I ask, Umi,
00:06:29which
00:06:31episode in the stage of a child's
00:06:35growth and development influences the child's
00:06:39personality? Maybe that's all the question. Oh, which episode?
00:06:59So if we look at a child from birth, 0
00:07:03years old until 7 years old, ma'am, this is the golden
00:07:06age. It's called the golden age, the golden age of a child's growth
00:07:10and development. Now, during that period, these developmental tasks
00:07:14need to be completed and need to be helped to be completed.
00:07:17If the first one is at the age of 0 to 1 year,
00:07:21he develops trust versus mistrust.
00:07:24So trust and distrust. A baby
00:07:27aged 0 to 1 year can't do anything yet, but their needs
00:07:31are many, right? Their needs are many. They need diaper changes, need
00:07:34feeding, also need a peaceful sleep. Now, how do
00:07:37we facilitate that? If we quickly
00:07:41facilitate their needs. When their needs are met, that will build a sense
00:07:44of trust in the environment and
00:07:48the age of 2 to 3 years, that will be
00:07:52developed into an independent attitude, that independence. But if, for example, that independence
00:07:55is picked at, laughed at by
00:07:58the family or their older sibling, if they're laughed at a lot
00:08:01and bullied a lot, oh, your choice is not good, don't choose this, it's bad,
00:08:05you're whatever, etcetera, right? That will foster a sense of shame, then
00:08:09doubt, is it really like what I said earlier? Then
00:08:13they start to reach the age of
00:08:16uh, uh, 6 to 12 years old, that also
00:08:19develops industry. So they do a lot of creative things, like
00:08:23scribbling, creativity. So they're scribbling, making origami, it's messy,
00:08:26that's why we also teach responsibility so that, oh,
00:08:29after being messy, it's allowed, but clean it up later. So that character
00:08:33is built during that golden age. And this is very important.
00:08:36And don't say that, you know, this is trivial,
00:08:39just babies. It's very influential,
00:08:43ma'am. Even when a baby pees on us, and we immediately get startled and the baby
00:08:46falls, that also might make the child experience trust issues
00:08:50in their adulthood, because why did my mother, who
00:08:53supposedly accepted me as I am, let go of me when I peed? So things
00:08:57like that are very influential
00:09:01on a child's personality in the future. And this,
00:09:05the 0 to 7 golden age is indeed the next stage, adolescence,
00:09:08late childhood, we still need to accompany them, but
00:09:12the foundation starts from 0 to 7 years old. Umi, please
00:09:15add something. This is something we often skip, mothers,
00:09:19because of our lack of knowledge, especially if it's our first
00:09:22child, maybe we lack experience. What do you say, Umi? What is called fitrah?
00:09:26That is
00:09:31the scribble, what do you want to make it into? Of course, all
00:09:35mothers, those traces will be on that white paper. The first
00:09:39scribble, let's say we made a mistake, ma'am, erasing it won't
00:09:42fool anyone, ma'am, the paper won't be as white as before. Right, ma'am, there used
00:09:46to be an eraser, ma'am, right? When you erased it, it was black, the mark, ma'am,
00:09:50in those days. Yes, it would be very visible. So what does that mean?
00:09:53The first note, the initial note, really leaves a mark,
00:09:57ma'am. That's why, oh Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala
00:10:00gave a guidance through the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, right? What,
00:10:04what, when our child is born, call the adhan in their right ear,
00:10:07iqamah in their left ear. That's tawhidullah before they
00:10:10hear any sounds in this world.
00:10:12And then they are guided continuously with tawhidullah through what? Through
00:10:16the guidance of their parents, starting from the flow of halal food in
00:10:20their body, all of that also influences the growth and development of our children.
00:10:24Excuse me, ma'am, sometimes we miss the times that were called
00:10:27the golden age, when children were so difficult to manage.
00:10:31When they needed us, why did we ignore them? When
00:10:35they wanted to express something to us, which was our
00:10:38obligation and their right, why did we ignore them? We used
00:10:42to think like this: when a baby was
00:10:45carried by the Prophet, suddenly it peed. His mother felt
00:10:49uncomfortable and wanted to, in Betawi language, wanted to pull it away, right? Wanted
00:10:53to take it, right? But "what did the Prophet
00:10:56say?
00:10:58Yes, whoever has no love will not be loved, they are just children." Right?
00:11:02So, mashallah, ma'am, education is so
00:11:05powerful. That's why parents who usually speak softly, suddenly
00:11:09their child comes home, and the parent says this, "That's trash talk, where did you get
00:11:13that from?" Because we never had anything like that in our house.
00:11:16Even my mother once heard
00:11:19her son being called, a boy, calling, we
00:11:23were all confused who he was calling? But he was standing in front of our house,
00:11:27apparently calling my younger brother with a familiar nickname. My
00:11:29mother immediately scolded that child, "Hey, where did
00:11:32that name come from? My child's name is not that." So we quickly
00:11:36remove bad things from our children. Instead, parents
00:11:40are calling their children with titles from their friends. That's negative,
00:11:44oh Allah, oh Lord. We are still in the complaint
00:11:47room segment. Let's
00:11:50look at the following social media question.
00:11:53ini?
00:11:56Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, greetings, I am
00:11:59Lukman Hakim, a loyal viewer of Serambi Islami on Tuesday,
00:12:02mashallah. May I ask how to foster awareness and
00:12:06responsibility for performing prayers in children, especially Fajr and
00:12:10Isha prayers? It feels like a struggle. Same
00:12:13here, sir. Thank you. Wasalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
00:12:16Waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. We wake them up at 3:30,
00:12:20maybe they just spread their prayer mat at 4:30 for those who are still
00:12:24like this, mashallah, yes,
00:12:26that's the same,
00:12:30it's a real struggle, but again, it's about whether the habit
00:12:33is built or not. If it's built,
00:12:37because children's habits are built with repetition, there's
00:12:40repetition, and habits are formed in 20
00:12:44days, uh, more than 20 days. If
00:12:47it's repeated every day, they're woken up. Sometimes we say, oh,
00:12:51poor thing, tomorrow is a holiday, let them not pray Fajr today. That's
00:12:55a break, and they might have to start over for the first 20 days again.
00:12:58So, it takes 20 times
00:13:02of repetition for it to become a habit. That's
00:13:05the first thing. The second is, is there a role model or not? When the child
00:13:09has an alarm to wake up for Fajr, are we still snuggling
00:13:13or, like Umi and Abi just now, mashallah, they've already spread their prayer mats.
00:13:16After a while, they'll feel uncomfortable, there's a role model. If there's
00:13:20a role model, it's easy. So we don't have to struggle, we just
00:13:23struggle with this. Then, the third, what is the meaning? Does the child
00:13:27understand the meaning of this Fajr prayer? Have they ever been given the meaning
00:13:30of prayer for them? This is it, this is it.
00:13:34And children, during childhood, their prefrontal
00:13:37cortex, right? The front part of the brain that
00:13:41functions for rational decision-making
00:13:44is not fully functional yet. What is already functional is
00:13:47the emotional system. So we can't force children using knowledge
00:13:51of hadith like this, but we need
00:13:55love, because the limbic system is dominant, feelings.
00:13:58So it needs to be done in a
00:14:01joyful atmosphere. Prayer time is time to gather
00:14:04with children, with family, right? So it's a
00:14:07pleasant time, not a terrifying obligation.
00:14:11So it's a time where children think, oh, I'm so happy when I get a role.
00:14:14They are given roles, like giving the adhan, oh, when their older sibling
00:14:18gives the iqamah and so on. So these roles also motivate children
00:14:22and make them happy to face prayer.
00:14:25"Honestly, Umi, I still have difficulty with this one, because sometimes
00:14:29at Fajr, the time is short. My husband
00:14:32and I pray first because we want to be devout, not to be disturbed. In the end, the children
00:14:36have a lot of drama during Fajr prayer. What do you think, Umi?" "It's okay, everything
00:14:39has its phase, its process. If they know Fajr time,
00:14:43Zuhr time, Maghrib time, what is it, that's already a big capital, ma'am.
00:14:47It means we are habituating children to know that there are five times that are
00:14:50obligatory. Yes, yes, when they were children, we couldn't force them,
00:14:54right?" "Maybe it's like what Umi said earlier, it's not relevant to Teh Widi,
00:14:58right? When our children are already big, already adults,
00:15:02so when they are still young, it means their quickness when
00:15:05the time for Fajr prayer comes, that's already a big point for them to instill
00:15:08the awareness that prayer time has come, ma'am.
00:15:12The female companions, the Salafus Saleh, that's why they instilled religious
00:15:16education with love, ma'am. Even though they were all scholars,
00:15:20all Hadith experts, all Hafiz,
00:15:23but is it true that they didn't explain verses about prayer like this? That's not
00:15:26possible. But what did the companions do? They carried their children
00:15:30to the bathroom, cleaned them,
00:15:33performed ablution for them, prayed together. Even in our childhood,
00:15:37boys were made to wear sarongs, like their fathers. Where did they learn
00:15:41that? From their fathers, of course. If their fathers never wore sarongs, then
00:15:44children need role models, ma'am, right?
00:15:48That's why there are children who wear sarongs like their fathers, why? Because their fathers taught
00:15:51them. Everything is a duplicate of their
00:15:54parents. So this is a very fundamental imitation
00:15:58for all of us, ma'am, right? It cannot be denied. Now, if
00:16:01those phases, these stages have passed, then
00:16:05the education model is different again.
00:16:10So, if our house is on fire, our children
00:16:13will be woken up, right? We will definitely try our best to wake them up, even drag
00:16:16them. Now, what if they are exposed to hellfire? We don't want that,
00:16:20right? So maybe that is the basis
00:16:23of the analogy. What if it's hellfire? It's
00:16:26hotter than earthly fire. If our house is on fire, we wake them up
00:16:30with all our might. That's also a struggle.
00:16:33Still in the complaint room segment. Complaint. The
00:16:37next one, please, please.
00:16:40Yes.
00:16:44Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Waalaikumsalam
00:16:48warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Everyone, let me introduce
00:16:51myself. I am Ibu Siti Khadijah from Majelis Taklim Al-Muhajirin
00:16:55Cikarang Barat. Umi, I want to ask
00:16:58about the golden
00:17:02generation during the time of the Prophet and
00:17:06the Salafus Saleh. Please elaborate.
00:17:09Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi
00:17:13wabarakatuh. Please, Umi. Indeed, the best generation
00:17:16is three generations, ma'am, right? The first is the generation
00:17:19of companions. Who are the companions? The companions are
00:17:23those who lived with the Prophet and followed the teachings
00:17:26of the Prophet, right? The Khulafa Rashidin and other
00:17:29companions of the Prophet. This was the golden age where the
00:17:33companions were not just entrepreneurs, but
00:17:35also very faithful and
00:17:39pious. They were loyal to the Prophet, they understood
00:17:42their ta'awun fiddin, they strived outwardly and inwardly, body and soul for
00:17:46the religion. These are the companions. The second are the Tabi'un. Who
00:17:49are these Tabi'un? The Tabi'un are the generation after the companions. They did not
00:17:53meet the Prophet, but they met the companions of the Prophet. They
00:17:56practiced the Sharia of the Prophet. Now this generation of Tabi'un is also included
00:18:00in the golden category, where the struggle of
00:18:03Islam, Islam spread throughout Europe, this was also due to
00:18:07the struggle of the Tabi'un. So here the superior generations emerged during the time
00:18:11of the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, then the Tabi'ut.
00:18:14The Tabi'ut Tabi'in, this is the third generation. So they did not meet
00:18:18the companions, they met the Tabi'in, so they are called the Tabi'in
00:18:21Tabi'in. They followed the teachings of the
00:18:24companions, so these are called the high-quality generations.
00:18:27So where are we? Now, the entirety of all of that is
00:18:30Salafus Saleh, people who pave the way for righteous people.
00:18:34That's why these prayers that we recite, ma'am, even though we didn't meet
00:18:37the Prophet, didn't meet the companions, didn't meet the Tabi'in, didn't
00:18:41meet the Tabi'ut Tabi'in, but we are all followers
00:18:44of them. So let's just call ourselves now parents
00:18:48who want to create a Salafus Saleh generation.
00:18:51Insha'Allah. Well, dear viewers, we will continue our discussion later,
00:18:55don't go anywhere, stay with Serambi Islami.
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00:21:59Alright viewers, thank you for still being with us on Serambi Islami, we are entering the
00:22:03last segment, but there is one more question for Bahena regarding
00:22:06the most beautiful gift from parents
00:22:10to their children, which is challenges. Sometimes it's true, children need to be given
00:22:14challenges, given stimulation so that they become intelligent in finding
00:22:17solutions, right? Just let children
00:22:21face their own problems, please. Yes, that's right. So, besides
00:22:24prayer, right? Prayer and our attachment to Allah, that
00:22:28cannot be denied, right? It cannot be disputed. But
00:22:32giving opportunities, we give children the opportunity
00:22:35to experience difficulties. If we have difficulties, just tell
00:22:39the children, right? Which is clearly not adult difficulties,
00:22:43right? But children need to go through a phase
00:22:46where they struggle, they struggle for something
00:22:50they want. For example, if we already have money, we have money, the child wants
00:22:54soccer shoes because they love soccer. We give them a challenge,
00:22:58oh, save money, right? How much per day? If you are disciplined, you will reach
00:23:02the price of the shoes you want by this date. Even though we
00:23:06actually have money for it, that's the impression, right? But
00:23:10how the child achieves their desire through their own struggle so that
00:23:13when they reach
00:23:17they want, mashallah, I succeeded.
00:23:50by life, he can spring upwards, springing upwards.
00:23:53Now, springing upwards requires a flat base. If we imagine ourselves
00:23:57as a good quality bouncy ball thrown, it needs to bounce upwards,
00:24:01the base needs to be flat. A flat base
00:24:04is a soul that has a good self-concept, a good way of viewing
00:24:07themselves, good self-esteem, then
00:24:10their intellect is also good, then their ability to
00:24:14regulate emotions, good emotional management. Now, the protective
00:24:18factor and other balancing factors are support.
00:24:29that will be very good, they have strong resilience against
00:24:33challenges. So, yes, self-esteem, as I said earlier,
00:24:36must be positive. Alright Umi, I still want to
00:24:39chat, but we have to conclude, Umi, please.
00:24:44those whom Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has blessed, the Serambi Islami study
00:24:47on Tuesday morning, thank you for staying with us from the beginning,
00:24:50hopefully what we have presented can guide us towards a better quality
00:24:54of life, amen. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has
00:24:57warned us long ago in the Holy Quran that
00:25:01we should not leave behind a weak generation,
00:25:04that we must be vigilant and have
00:25:07knowledge so that our children are protected from hellfire,
00:25:10so our knowledge about how to have children who
00:25:14are of good quality is actually a learning process that will never
00:25:17stop, even though we are not young anymore, but Allah
00:25:21still gives us the opportunity to live side by side with our children,
00:25:25keep expending energy, keep seeking
00:25:28provisions so that our children can be guided by us,
00:25:32can be led by us towards the path that Allah is pleased with and so that they are ready
00:25:36to face all the challenges that they are facing in this era,
00:25:39trust me, mothers, Allah will not abandon
00:25:43His servants, because His servants
00:25:46possess for every era and situation.
00:25:50And insha'Allah, hopefully we are included there, we guide our children
00:25:54with prayers, we guide them with our
00:25:57hopes that we lift up to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, thank
00:26:01you, insha'Allah. Thank you Umi for your explanation, Teh Hena,
00:26:04we will talk again on another topic. Efi and Aida,
00:26:08Shukron, amazing mothers who have attended Majelis
00:26:12Rambi Islami. Viewers, a fragile
00:26:15mentality cannot find solutions because from
00:26:18childhood, everything was served to them, wrong upbringing from an early age,
00:26:22even though parents won't always be there. Give
00:26:25them challenges to be independent so that they will eventually become true human
00:26:29beings. Thank you for your attention. Joining us on Serambi Islami. To conclude,
00:26:33let's offer a prayer that will be led by Umi, please.
00:26:36Let's pray, hopefully all the good things
00:26:40within us will be answered directly and
00:26:44we are always under His protection.
00:26:46Bismillahirahmanirahim Astaghfirullahalazim, la
00:26:50hawla wala quwwata illa billahil aliyyil azim.
00:26:53Wa hasbunallah wanikmal wakeel.
00:26:56Nikmal nasir. Oh Allah,
00:26:59most gracious, most merciful, guide us always as parents
00:27:02to have knowledge and understanding to
00:27:06accompany our children who live in their time,
00:27:10who live full of challenges and trials. Oh Allah,
00:27:14oh Lord, most gracious, most merciful, open the hearts
00:27:17of our children so that they may see the truth truly,
00:27:20show them that what is right is right
00:27:24and what is wrong is wrong, and make
00:27:28us mature parents, parents who are
00:27:31truly desired.
00:28:02with a different theme. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi
00:28:05wabarakatuh. Waalaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.