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00:00:15Hello and good morning, it's eight o'clock now. We have a news update. A senior official
00:00:18in the United Arab Emirates denies
00:00:22the report that Prime Minister Netanyahu was warned by UAE President
00:00:25Ben Zayed before the October 7th massacre. In an interview
00:00:29with the newspaper:
00:00:35security issues with other countries through the relevant bodies
00:00:39and does not discuss such details at the leadership level.
00:00:42The official's remarks reinforce the official Emirati response
00:00:46earlier this month, which did not explicitly mention the conversation
00:00:50between Netanyahu and the President of the United
00:00:52Arab Emirates.
00:00:55President Isaac Herzog announced that he decided to erase the criminal record
00:00:58of Elor Azaria, who was convicted in 2016
00:01:02of shooting a neutralized terrorist in Hebron during his
00:01:05regular service. Our correspondent Roi Yanovsky, we turn to you with this decision
00:01:09that is made contrary to the IDF's
00:01:11position. Yes, good morning Yonatan, and the bottom line
00:01:15is that President Herzog decided to shorten the period of the criminal record,
00:01:19meaning to actually erase the criminal record of Elor Azaria,
00:01:22contrary to the army's opinion, in a long
00:01:25and full official statement
00:01:28with justifications that opens.
00:01:30According to the President, this decision is in the spirit of these days of
00:01:33correction and reconciliation, while in fact
00:01:36he lists a number of reasons, among others,
00:01:40the time that has passed since the incident and especially his desire
00:01:44to remove the obstacles he currently faces in employment
00:01:46and to open a new chapter
00:01:48in his life. The significant thing here is that this is done against the opinion
00:01:52of the Chief of Staff and against the opinion of the army. In fact, in the army
00:01:55they explain that there are a number of factors that examine such requests.
00:01:59The main reason they objected
00:02:02to the erasure of the criminal record is that to this day, in fact,
00:02:06Azaria has not expressed remorse for his actions, but they
00:02:08emphasize that their recommendation goes to the minister, the minister gives his opinion
00:02:12to the president and of course the army's recommendation is merely a recommendation, a minister
00:02:16and president can decide otherwise, which happened, so the bottom
00:02:20line is President Herzog decides to erase the criminal record
00:02:23of Elor Azaria against the opinion
00:02:25of the Chief of Staff. Borovsky, thank you very much, in Europe
00:02:29preparations are being made. Russia's attempts to expand the fighting
00:02:32in Ukraine to other countries on the continent, in Germany
00:02:36and Britain have already updated emergency plans for the home front.
00:02:39Yoav Zehavi, foreign affairs correspondent. Hello. Yes, hello
00:02:43Yonatan, so Europe is raising its readiness against Russia,
00:02:46yesterday Poland scrambled fighter jets and put its air defense systems
00:02:49on alert following Russian attacks in Ukraine. Polish
00:02:53Prime Minister Donald Tusk warned last week that Russia
00:02:57could try to infiltrate drones or launch missiles
00:03:01towards NATO territory and then present those
00:03:04incidents as an accident in an attempt to test if NATO
00:03:08would react. Also in the Baltic states, Latvia and Lithuania
00:03:11are strengthening their air defense. In France,
00:03:14President Macron orders the protection of critical infrastructure, and in Britain
00:03:18and Germany, emergency plans for the home front are also being updated.
00:03:21President Putin, for his part, the President of Russia, said over the weekend
00:03:25that some European leaders are openly preparing for war with
00:03:28Russia in order to divert public attention from their
00:03:31statements of those countries. We will say, but there is no indication
00:03:35of an imminent war, but Europe is clearly preparing for the possibility
00:03:38that the confrontation will spill over beyond the borders of Ukraine.
00:03:42Yoav, thank you very much, now for the weather forecast, today there will be a slight
00:03:46increase in temperatures and they will be normal for the season in most
00:03:49areas, tomorrow, Monday, Yom Kippur, a slight warming,
00:03:52especially in the cities and inland areas, on Tuesday temperatures
00:03:55will drop slightly and on Wednesday another slight
00:03:58cooling.
00:04:01And these are the times for the start of Yom Kippur and its end in Jerusalem. The fast begins
00:04:05at 5:58 the fast ends at 7:01
00:04:08minutes in Tel Aviv the fast begins at
00:04:106:22 the fast ends at 7:04
00:04:14in Haifa entry 6:39 minutes exit
00:04:17at 7:04 and in Beersheba entry
00:04:19at 6:21 exit of the fast
00:04:227:34
00:04:24And that's all for our news update for this hour.
00:04:28Immediately after us, Mandy Grossman. This is
00:04:31news on Reshet Bet. Have a good and peaceful
00:04:34day,
00:04:36Gmar Chatima Tova, goodbye.
00:04:51Happy holiday Mandy
00:04:54Grossman, happy holiday, it's Yom Kippur, we need to lower
00:04:57our voices a bit, we can, happy holiday. In short,
00:05:35she always tells you something but then she tells you the opposite
00:05:39like I don't know, for example on Tisha B'Av. Okay, a day
00:05:42to be sad, fine, but it's but they tell you, after midnight
00:05:46today you already start preparing for redemption, you already clean
00:05:49the house, complexities, this is the complexity, wait, Yom Kippur,
00:05:53they tell you it's a tough day, the day of judgment, no, but it's also a good
00:05:56day, it's also joy,
00:05:59this is the magic, and I think that perhaps the accuracy here of this happy holiday
00:06:02is that you are happy, but not out of levity,
00:06:06you are not in the silliness of
00:06:08Purim, like we can be happy, we can't really do.
00:06:12Wait, wait, wait, wait, by the way, this complexity also exists in reverse, just like on Yom
00:06:16Kippur they tell you it's the day of judgment, but it's a good day,
00:06:19the same thing, the same thing, on Purim they tell you to be happy, but don't
00:06:22be reckless, they always tell us yes and no, yes
00:06:26and no, fine, but not always can we really be precise, yes,
00:06:30Jews, compressed,
00:06:33this is the custom, this is the custom, this is part of the custom, I
00:06:36really like it, I like this Yom Kippur,
00:06:40first of all there's a mitzvah to eat. In general in life,
00:06:44I like, you like Erev Yom Kippur, not all Yom Kippur, but you don't
00:06:48eat, first of all you eat until, until
00:06:52the pre-fast meal which is a no-brainer, that's a mitzvah, I tell you in these two days,
00:06:55you eat much more than in two normal days, if I take what we eat on Erev
00:06:59Yom Kippur and divide it by two days, it's still a crazy
00:07:02amount, completely crazy, you do 1500 calories daily, from
00:07:06when you wake up until six in the evening, you've used up all
00:07:09your caloric resources, of course and you also break.
00:07:21So there's that element and also there's something so liberating
00:07:25that you can just surrender to prayers, right, you're just
00:07:29in the synagogue, there's no burden on you especially for parents, I think it's more
00:07:32comfortable for parents who don't have small children who consume
00:07:35Bambas, that you can really think, you can really surrender
00:07:39to prayers and for the first time you see the texts.
00:07:42In silence, without thinking what awaits at home, what are my tasks,
00:07:46you are completely, you and the synagogue and the prayers and God
00:07:50and people and reckoning, and it's
00:07:52wonderful, and it's allowed to reckon on Yom Kippur, which is usually forbidden,
00:07:55and in fact these prayers begin already in the afternoon of Yom
00:07:59Kippur with the ceremony of annulment of vows, which is a big
00:08:02deal, and women usually say,
00:08:05the Halakha says that a woman usually sends her husband to annul
00:08:09vows, men are obligated to annul vows, women are also obligated, but the custom
00:08:13says that they can send their husband to annul the vows for
00:08:16them, but they can also do it themselves, I need
00:08:19the portion, the Bar Mitzvah portion of my oldest son,
00:08:23whose Bar Mitzvah was I think in the first year after our
00:08:26divorce, his portion was about the vow of a divorced woman, how nice
00:08:30to open a Bar Mitzvah portion like that, wonderful, God gave it as
00:08:33a gift, but a married woman or
00:08:36divorced, it doesn't matter, not married at first, they said she can
00:08:39go herself to annul vows, today I think many women do it
00:08:42themselves and I always wondered why so much importance
00:08:46is given to this or there is a text that needs
00:08:49to be said and in the presence of at least three men, preferably
00:08:53ten, every vow or oath or promise or ban or
00:08:57excommunication that I vowed or swore indirectly or in a dream even
00:09:01in a dream, think what madness, you dream that someone does something
00:09:04bad to you and you vow that you are going to kill him, even for that
00:09:08you are held accountable on Erev Yom Kippur in the afternoon, everything we swore
00:09:12by holy names that are not erased and so on and so on and all these things
00:09:14that it will be considered as if we annulled it in a great court
00:09:18and as if I was atoned and as if I repented completely, why
00:09:22do they make such a big deal out of these things, what did
00:09:25we say after all why is it so
00:09:28important And it is said that there is the annulment of vows of
00:09:32Erev Rosh Hashanah, as you say, that they do before three, but there is the
00:09:35prayer the prayer Kol
00:09:38Nidre, you know that Jews throughout the generations in the most difficult situations.
00:09:42In the extermination camps in Poland
00:09:45and even before that in the Inquisition in Spain
00:09:48and in the most difficult days they always said in periods when it
00:09:52was forbidden to gather and pray, Jews
00:09:55tried to do everything possible to
00:09:59gather for prayer, oh not
00:10:01sure no they were not so pleasant
00:10:05but why is it not related to pleasantness we are pleasant
00:10:08that we are so meticulous about the annulment
00:10:11of vows. But we are not sure that it will immediately bring us
00:10:14some dividend what is called passes to action I don't think we
00:10:18do it because of the dividend exactly we feel that it will save
00:10:22us I think it will save us. But it will
00:10:26save us through this act, through the importance we attach
00:10:29to words, because this whole concept of annulment of vows comes to teach us
00:10:32something, it comes to teach us that the words we say are
00:10:36not just words, our words can kill, if I
00:10:40deeply hurt someone or someone deeply hurts me, it can sometimes harm
00:10:44my health, if he says something, have you ever been told something that harms
00:10:47your health, have you ever been told something terribly insulting, many times, what's
00:10:51up brother? What do you want me to also tell you what they told me?
00:10:55No, I push it away, I don't
00:10:58remember either, but there were many things, people know, there are these people who are
00:11:01psychologists and there are psychologists for a comment, people
00:11:04with good understanding of the human soul who really have
00:11:08some sense to identify the sensitive points of each person
00:11:12and press them like buttons, there are such
00:11:14people,
00:11:16and I'll go back to Kol Nidrei, the prayer of Yom
00:11:20Kippur when everyone gathers, the first prayer where they take out
00:11:24the Torah scrolls. And the whole synagogue stands, you know
00:11:27tomorrow at Musaf it already starts to be a bit sloppy, but in the first
00:11:31prayer when everyone is still in what
00:11:34is called in the atmosphere of the day, it's Kol Nidrei, Kol Nidrei
00:11:37and prohibitions, you know in Hebrew and they say it in Aramaic,
00:11:41really now when you look at the words it's really not such
00:11:44an exciting text, it's an almost legal text, when you say A
00:11:48it's super legal, it's a legal text, it's super legal and it's important that it's
00:11:52legal, but it's clear that it's not exciting if you say it in a language you don't understand, that's
00:11:56the whole point, you hide and suppress when you say it in Aramaic,
00:11:59excuse me to everyone who says
00:12:00it in Aramaic,
00:12:03you also say it in Aramaic tonight, but
00:12:05I knew exactly what every word means so that I
00:12:09understand, right, right, we understand the event, because Aramaic is a
00:12:13red language, Kol Nidrei, it's very simple, all
00:12:15the vows, the bans, oaths
00:12:19and curses, and the afflictions, and the afflictions,
00:12:22that we vowed and did not vow.
00:12:46Why was he chosen
00:12:49to open this great day there are wonderful passages afterwards and it will be forgiven
00:12:53to all the community of Israel. Reason
00:13:03I love contract law, in the end it's all about
00:13:06our words, we need to take responsibility for our words, that's the event, that's it, because
00:13:10Kol Nidrei says before you start praying, already at the beginning
00:13:13of the day, take responsibility, take responsibility, and first
00:13:16of all, what are vows, you can say about it in the context of truly
00:13:19promises, you can not, what is all sorts of things, for example, I decided
00:13:22that I, I'll give you an example of a vow.
00:13:25Which is not a vow yes, everyone in their situation has
00:13:28a certain age where they try to change in some points,
00:13:32and there's an age where they say, this will not happen in this lifetime, you know this phrase,
00:13:35this will not happen in this lifetime, by the way, especially for people who say
00:13:39this will not happen in this lifetime, that it happens to them in the end, but okay, okay,
00:13:43or not, I'm also talking about things that are supposedly, they're not supposedly, they're
00:13:47in our hands, yes, like I, I say, I say, I already tend
00:13:50to say, tend to say, what
00:13:52a phrase,
00:13:54this. Already a kind of vow I tend to say, you understand, I've already put
00:13:58myself into it but yes in this
00:14:01lifetime I will no longer arrive on time for things, for events
00:14:04I scheduled, no I know I'll already lose this
00:14:08battle with myself and with my excellent time management ability
00:14:12you say this sentence a lot to yourself I say it I don't say it anymore because it's
00:14:15already it's already you've given up I've given up and it's
00:14:18a kind of supposedly a vow not a vow to vow
00:14:22myself something positive to accept upon myself some good acceptance.
00:14:28But I complete it to such an extent that I kind of already committed myself not to change
00:14:31it, at some point it already becomes no I can't change, you've developed
00:14:35a block, I can't, I can't do this, it's
00:14:38over, this is how I am, this is me, or
00:14:42the sentence people say to themselves, this is what there is, period, and when you come
00:14:46and you say Kol Nidrei, you cleanse yourself from these
00:14:49shells, from the masks you put on yourself and you say excuse me what
00:14:53did I commit myself to, that I.
00:14:55That I'm not good with time, I am good with time, at any age,
00:14:59I can change at any age, I can change, it's not
00:15:03certain that it will happen, it's not certain that I want to, but I can
00:15:06stop telling yourself that you can now, you can change in terms of
00:15:10time, yes, they always say, what do
00:15:13they tell you, but I don't want to, no, what do they tell you when you can't arrive on time,
00:15:17for a flight, for a vacation, you're also
00:15:19late, if there are, by the way, people whose answer to that is
00:15:23yes, then that's a truly chronic other problem
00:15:26that can indeed be a chronic problem there's always some big
00:15:30event, some shaking experience that suddenly changes you
00:15:34not exactly, so therefore and it can happen to you even at age, oh right. I
00:15:37say, of course I can because the fact is that for things
00:15:41that are very, very, very important to me, where being late for them
00:15:44would cause irreversible damage like heavy financial damage or anything
00:15:48else, then you won't be late, yes even a chronic
00:15:51latecomer often for his own
00:15:54wedding won't necessarily be late, there are those who are, by the way,
00:15:58there are those, I know it, I can't tell you how but I know a groom twice so
00:16:01I can only guess what kind of times but I
00:16:05will check but but there are those who. And that's another
00:16:08problem, it must be said, there are people for whom it is really no longer
00:16:11in their control, there is such a problem, but for me, thank God, there is no
00:16:14such problem and it does depend on willingness but that's an example, Kol Nidrei and prohibitions
00:16:18means stop the definitions, the self-indulgence
00:16:22exactly, release
00:16:24yourself
00:16:27to the world in such and such definitions, wow what
00:16:31a stunning interpretation, it's really, really beautiful, I love
00:16:34it... I love this thing because it tells
00:16:38us again, as I told you, that words have meaning
00:16:42and there are words and there are words that kill, which brings us to one
00:16:45of the additional duties that we usually do, but we haven't introduced
00:16:49ourselves, this is your segment, I
00:16:52said happy holiday, Mandy Grossman, that's what I said, I can say it
00:16:56again, happy holiday, Mor Yaakov here, here is Mandy Grossman
00:16:59before the person who breaks the mold every year
00:17:02anew for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, listen, I'm all in the spirit of Selichot, you know, I yesterday
00:17:06you wear a white shirt? Heritage you
00:17:08broadcast the Selichot, the last Selichot, didn't you sleep last night? I slept little,
00:17:17we finished largely at 2 and a half, did you vow
00:17:20anything in a dream that you want to undo soon? Yes, no, no,
00:17:24ah, and I am still
00:17:27under the experience, we finished at two the Selichot
00:17:30at the Western Wall ended, and then we only started what is called
00:17:34to pave our way through the market there. To the car
00:17:38and then more traffic so so I am really in the mood
00:17:41of the day and it won't
00:17:45help anything
00:17:48to see many people together praying
00:17:52you understand the power of public prayer yes it is written and it does something else to you when you
00:17:55see a crazy collection of very, very
00:17:58diverse people praying it like in Selichot for example it is
00:18:02more versatile than anything else so I will talk for a moment about
00:18:04logic ah and I just did it yesterday
00:18:08also on air. It's time to do it here too, I'll ruin the cliché a bit,
00:18:12go ahead, there's not much diversity, come on, ah, it's
00:18:16just not true, every time they say it, there is diversity, there is,
00:18:19excuse me, there is within a certain
00:18:23segment of the people, yes, you have national
00:18:26religious, like religious, you have ultra-Orthodox, few,
00:18:30you have, I think that's the main audience, ah,
00:18:34traditional public, meaning he is not religious Haredi, and he is not secular, he is
00:18:46a traditional public, Kippah. At the Western Wall plaza, what
00:18:49is called the current coalition would
00:18:52take it, but you know what, I want to tell you, mandates, wait,
00:18:56but it must be said that there is diversity in the Selichot
00:18:59ceremonies, because at the same time that they gathered at the Western Wall plaza,
00:19:03yes, Selichot ceremonies were held in Tel Aviv, in the center
00:19:06of the city. And in the center of the city and there you
00:19:09do see people from all shades
00:19:13and from all political spectrums because there is really
00:19:16this attribution you know what, maybe one thing we need
00:19:19to talk about Kol Nidrei
00:19:23yes about the definitions you
00:19:25give
00:19:28and the media has a lot of power, yes, one of the tools of media
00:19:31is also to report but often the reports are already known, it's to frame
00:19:35yes, to give the headline, meaning. It could be that everyone already knows
00:19:39the information without the media, but the media gives the headline. The thing is that today other people
00:19:43also give headlines, not just the media, there are already others who share this
00:19:47sin with us, and one
00:19:50of the vows or definitions that we need to annul,
00:19:53is to define the political camps by
00:19:57faith, i.e. the faithful camp,
00:20:01when you say the faithful camp, it's everyone,
00:20:04you say the non-faithful camp.
00:20:07That's what you say when you, why does
00:20:10the Jewish religious deep issue
00:20:14our faith which is much more
00:20:17than religion even, it's yes Yom Kippur, it's written that the essence of the day atones, it's no longer relevant even,
00:20:21yes, it doesn't even say, for example, the religious camp can say yes generally
00:20:24this camp is more observant of mitzvot, that's a correct
00:20:27fact, but the camp, wow, it's so categorizing, what's
00:20:31the difference anyway, who says the moment, of course not, but I
00:20:34say you say more than that. I
00:20:38say, you say more than that, you say the
00:20:40faithful camp, who says the faithful camp, who doesn't and
00:20:44who, I don't, I don't say the emotional camp ever, never
00:20:47was heard, in what.
00:21:20I do want to tell you about changes and about processes
00:21:24that before I think 15
00:21:27years ago I don't remember exactly I managed the Department
00:21:31of Jewish Culture at the Israel Broadcasting Authority which became
00:21:34the Corporation in the previous round and then for the first
00:21:37time for the first time I led
00:21:41a move to broadcast live Selichot
00:21:44from the Kotel. Okay, it was the first time they did it
00:21:47today they opened
00:21:5011 12 13 14 15 even 16 all
00:21:54broadcasted this thing, that means that there is
00:21:57some broad process of
00:22:01expanding the ranks, expanding I don't know what, rapprochement,
00:22:04whatever, Selichot became mainstream.
00:22:07became mainstream, so even if you say that when you are there you don't see
00:22:10diversity, you are not that versatile there, I say but there is
00:22:14diversity in the event there is diversity in the event, not in the Selichot
00:22:17at the Kotel, because I did see publications. Places in Tel Aviv
00:22:21and in all Gush Dan that people do come to them, I also see
00:22:24speakers and also the audience you see clear what's the question Yom Kippur is one of the strongest days I think
00:22:28that there's something about Yom Kippur
00:22:31that maybe it's the strongest day
00:22:34of the year
00:22:36it's you know it's always
00:22:38amazing
00:22:41that the consensus is often actually
00:22:45connected around ah around the elements
00:22:49that are less. Rational in religion, like you know, for example
00:22:52Hanukkah candles, which is something rational and nice and pleasant, it's clear in the world so
00:22:56you say okay, some light them, some don't, but for example, Yom Kippur is a day that encompasses many
00:22:59many and one of the things about Yom
00:23:02Kippur is that unlike every holiday, on every holiday we have a mitzvah what to
00:23:06do, on Rosh Hashanah to blow the shofar
00:23:09on Passover to eat matzah and so on
00:23:12and so on, on Yom Kippur there is no mitzvah what to do, there are
00:23:14the prayers or it's what not to do, not to eat, not
00:23:18to drink, not
00:23:25what not to do because you are in some way leaving your daily
00:23:29life on Yom Kippur and you prayer you know you can
00:23:32go you can not go it's important to go but it's not the mitzvah of the day the mitzvah
00:23:36of the day is what not to do because of the fact that you don't do
00:23:40it you actually you enter into
00:23:43a different
00:27:46This is news on Reshet Bet, we'll be right back.
00:29:01Kan 11 and there. Rabbi
00:29:04of Yavneh
00:29:07group and also head
00:29:10Rabbi Shalom Shalom Offran is already a household name
00:29:14he is a brand in himself right but you always give another
00:29:18right like that how do you prepare
00:29:20for the holiday
00:29:24A no no she didn't mean spiritually physically what
00:29:27tasks do you have at home you need
00:29:30to prepare food this is the only day of the year that there is a mitzvah to eat
00:29:34this is the only day it is customary to say
00:29:38that the food on the ninth is like I argued and on the tenth
00:29:42yes you need to prepare food
00:29:45you need to clean and tidy the house many material
00:29:49matters before all this spirituality that is upon
00:29:52us yes what a wonderful thing we want
00:29:55to mainly ask you about this issue of
00:29:58Selichot are we built to forgive are we.
00:30:02To ask for forgiveness, is there a mental difference between one person
00:30:06and another, how do we generally perceive this
00:30:09event? So it's interesting
00:30:13that when you flip through the Bible,
00:30:16the root "Salach" (to forgive) that appears in it dozens of times
00:30:20is always and only attributed to the Holy One, Blessed be He,
00:30:22in the Bible at least only God
00:30:26forgives, and this is not accidental,
00:30:29because in fact.
00:30:33The French philosopher said that there is
00:30:37a deep paradox surrounding forgiveness, because when it is
00:30:40necessary it is impossible and when it is possible it is not necessary,
00:30:43for if I stepped
00:30:46on your toe and asked for forgiveness, you will probably
00:30:50forgive me, but the truth is you will forgive me even if I don't ask
00:30:53for forgiveness, and on the other hand, if I did
00:30:56something terrible to you and asked for forgiveness, you won't forgive
00:31:00me so quickly, and the...
00:31:02The protesters in the squares always say we will not forget and we will not forgive,
00:31:06the truth is that if I don't forget I probably won't forgive, and if
00:31:09I forgot then there is no need to forgive, and because this
00:31:13paradox is so complex, then.
00:31:15In fact, forgiveness is a trait, perhaps
00:31:18a virtue, perhaps it is a divine act, but there is something else here,
00:31:22that is, if you step on my toe, then
00:31:25it hurts, and I move, and if you say sorry, I say, okay, he saw me, it's not
00:31:29it was intentional, I'm moving on. The reason I'm moving on, and
00:31:33as you said, forgiving you immediately, is because I
00:31:36immediately understood it was a mistake, exactly. But an apology is needed. If I feel that you're
00:31:40stepping on me, because you don't see me and you don't care about me,
00:31:44then I... Yes, but an apology is to forgive even when someone really didn't see you,
00:31:48right, Rabbi, when someone really hurt and intended to hurt. It's like you're stating this paradox,
00:31:51but I didn't mean to imply there's a paradox here. The truth
00:31:55is that I'm not sure that someone who didn't see me
00:31:58did something less bad than someone who hurt me
00:32:01intentionally and overtly. That
00:32:03is,
00:32:06in some senses, the disregard, the not seeing
00:32:10is a more severe
00:32:12act than the act of the... pattern or
00:32:15the mistake. But to the matter at hand, there is
00:32:19a connection between the ability to forgive and the severity
00:32:21of the wrong. And when the wrong is very great
00:32:25and very burning, then it's clear that forgiveness is a more
00:32:28challenging task, it's harder, often in all sorts of
00:32:32conflicts or arguments, it doesn't matter if between spouses or
00:32:35between nations,
00:32:38they wait for the wrong
00:32:41to cool down a bit, for the wound to heal a bit, and only after that. One can
00:32:45start talking about, uh, about forgiveness. It's not
00:32:48some magic word, some kind of "abracadabra" that I pressed
00:32:52the button and everything
00:32:54passed. But it's also interesting to think what am I actually
00:32:57asking when I ask you or you
00:33:00for forgiveness? After all, what's done cannot be undone,
00:33:03the wrong exists. For example, Moriah, your thumb hurts
00:33:07from the weight of my foot. So, so what am I
00:33:11asking when I tell you forgiveness?
00:33:14So. For example, Rabbi Shimshon Raphael
00:33:18Hirsch suggests—he dealt a lot with linguistic matters in his commentary
00:33:21on the Torah—and he suggests that "to forgive" (lisloach) is a word
00:33:25close to the word "to traverse" (litzloach).
00:33:28That is, what is "traversing"? Traversing is to overcome
00:33:32the obstacle and move on. And he suggests
00:33:35that forgiveness is the same thing, it's asking the person
00:33:38I hurt, "Let's move on. Let's, despite
00:33:42what happened, do more." But
00:33:47what if I don't want to move on? What if someone hurt me deeply and I
00:33:51understand that it's part of their pattern? Then I don't necessarily
00:33:54want "forgiveness" as a word. I want him to truly
00:33:58see me. I don't want "forgiveness" as a word, I
00:34:01want "forgiveness" as a process.
00:34:04Indeed, often, the request for forgiveness
00:34:07is unreasonable. That is, there are situations, there are
00:34:11sorrows, there are hurts, there are patterns, as you say,
00:34:14that it's hard to expect a person
00:34:18to forgive them so easily. It's true that Maimonides writes in the laws
00:34:22of repentance that a person must not be cruel and refuse
00:34:25to forgive. On the other hand, there is... I was invited
00:34:28some time ago to a conference of therapists
00:34:32who work with victims of sexual violence.
00:34:35And the conference dealt with the question of whether
00:34:39forgiveness to the abuser is part of the therapeutic
00:34:43process? Is it beneficial, is it harmful, is it
00:34:46even something that can be offered to a person
00:34:50who has been hurt, especially with such a severe
00:34:53and dramatic injury, that
00:34:55they should forgive?
00:34:57And that's a very, very, very big question, because sometimes there's something healing in forgiveness,
00:35:01and sometimes in the demand for forgiveness there's something
00:35:04cruel. In the demand, in the demand to forgive,
00:35:08yes, yes, that silences,
00:35:10diminishes, tries to dissolve the extent
00:35:13of the pain, the difficulty, the injustice, the destruction.
00:35:17And if the offender is not even aware of their actions,
00:35:20if the offender thinks that what they did was nothing,
00:35:24you need to bring it to their attention, like tell them, "Hello,
00:35:28you don't see me, I was hurt." matters,
00:35:31In one of the
00:35:35alumni groups of our pre-military academy, we
00:35:38have a group of "fools,"
00:35:41and one of the guys asked this question in recent days: If
00:35:45there is a person who hurt me, but I'm sure they didn't do it
00:35:49intentionally, and I'm sure it wasn't with
00:35:53bad intent, do I need to tell
00:35:54them...?
00:35:57So I answered that I don't know how to answer that in clear halakhic
00:36:01categories, but I know that if I were the one who hurt, I would be happy if he told
00:36:04me... Um,
00:36:07ultimately, the whole event, the whole
00:36:09meaning, the whole experience is
00:36:12that the day after this day, this
00:36:15period, we will be better than we were yesterday.
00:36:19And improving is something that is very very difficult without
00:36:21acknowledging the pain. You know that one of the worst types
00:36:25of apology one can offer...
00:36:38less successful and the most damaging
00:36:40there are generic WhatsApp apologies,
00:36:44"Sorry if I offended," people are always apologizing. No, that's worse. The Rabbi
00:36:48said, "Sorry if you were hurt."
00:36:51That's really convenient in seven mistakes, because
00:36:54it's like one mistake is "sorry" followed by...
00:36:57If it's not an apology, yes, because the essence of an apology is
00:37:01to take responsibility for the wrong. And if I say "if," it means I'm not at all
00:37:05sure that there was a wrong. So how can one
00:37:08take responsibility for something whose existence I'm not sure of? The second problem is
00:37:11to speak passively. Yes, "you
00:37:15were hurt." That, of course, doesn't mean that I hurt you. But if you're such
00:37:19a nuisance, then I'm willing to say, "Yours." That's from the Beit
00:37:22Midrash of "yours." Yes. So how, yes, we said what not. "Sorry
00:37:26I hurt you." "Sorry I hurt you" and a severe
00:37:30prohibition against continuing the sentence
00:37:33because usually when the sentence continues, the next word is
00:37:36"but." And the purpose of the word "but" in Hebrew is
00:37:40to negate what was said before. Yes. That is, "Sorry I hurt you,
00:37:44but you're really an annoying person." That's, that's, you somewhat brought it upon
00:37:47yourself and it all comes back to you and so on. And why not, why not
00:37:51say, "I understand I hurt you, and I
00:37:54would be happy if you explained more about this hurt so I don't repeat it."
00:37:58Good advice.
00:38:00It's not forgiveness, but it's certainly part of the process
00:38:03of correction. Ultimately, the greatest human need,
00:38:07more than eating, more than drinking, more than sleeping, more
00:38:11than sex, more than health, more than anything, the greatest human need
00:38:14in the world is recognition.
00:38:17And we physically, mentally, existentially
00:38:21need to be seen. And often, the hurt is the experience of not being
00:38:25seen. I also said earlier that the fact that you stepped on my thumb without
00:38:28seeing me, I'm not sure that you didn't intend it, is less
00:38:32severe. But when you ask for forgiveness,
00:38:35you see me, you notice my existence, you give me validation,
00:38:38you give me affirmation. And our
00:38:41ancient sages understood the power of this
00:38:45to such an extent that they invented, if
00:38:49you will, this quasi-mitzvah (commandment)
00:38:52that a person is obligated to ask for forgiveness,
00:38:56not because it's a religious ritual, but because
00:38:59this recognition is the foundation for human life, for marital
00:39:02life, for social life, for communal
00:39:06life. So the fact that I know that you saw me, that you noticed me,
00:39:10that you paid attention to me, that you acknowledge me, and also acknowledge my pain,
00:39:14and that's a tune people like to hear.
00:39:17Yes, I have a question,
00:39:20halachic or not halachic, but I have a question.
00:39:23I actually find it very easy to ask people for forgiveness.
00:39:27When I think that I didn't do anything wrong, and I ask
00:39:31in this way, as the Rabbi recommended, yes, "Sorry I hurt you," I take
00:39:35responsibility. Various people asked me about it two months ago, three months ago.
00:39:38Yom Kippur arrives, I say, "Okay, come on, let's finish this matter, I've already
00:39:42tamed my ego, so it's all good." I said what I said, "Sorry
00:39:45I hurt you, I was wrong all along." I give all
00:39:49the text that I don't mean. I think they were
00:39:53wrong, and I think the reality
00:39:56was more complex.
00:40:03of the Day of Judgment, in the sense of, "Let's get rid of this, come on, I'll apologize
00:40:06so they'll love me, I want them to love me." So in the name of the desire
00:40:10for love, I'm also willing to give up my own
00:40:13sense of justice. And they, now often I expect them
00:40:16to answer me, "Yes, yes, I was also wrong." Somehow they don't answer. They really take
00:40:20my text with both hands and sign it, "Forgive me, forgive
00:40:24me, Mandy." And I move on. And I ask, there is... This is a matter
00:40:27of, like, I don't know, do I need to now open up to them and tell them, "No, I do
00:40:31think I was right," or be honest like that? Or let's say you
00:40:35forgive, it's good for him, it's good for me, everything's fine, for the sake
00:40:38of peace. So now, everyone who hears
00:40:42me, I really meant you, and for others, yes, please.
00:40:45Look, advice number one: don't
00:40:49lie. That is, if you don't
00:40:52mean it, don't say words that you don't mean. These are
00:40:56kindergarten apologies. That is, the kindergarten teacher sits the child aside and tells him, "Until you say
00:41:00the magic word, you can't go back to play." So
00:41:02you're still at this
00:41:06point. I don't think this is the forgiveness that Maimonides talks about in the laws
00:41:09of repentance. But pay attention
00:41:12to the term you used. You said, "I apologize." Yes, that's
00:41:15literally "I save myself." You save yourself. Yes, but
00:41:19they're also happy that I'm closing the story. Rabbi, what is truth?
00:41:23What can I do with this truth? They're happy that they have
00:41:40a distributor of the root "slach" (forgive) in WhatsApp groups. This is
00:41:44truly a rather foolish ritual,
00:41:47but the deep mental movement in which
00:41:51a person takes responsibility
00:41:54and expresses regret and descends
00:41:57from the pedestals of righteousness that we
00:42:01like to stand on, that's a difficult movement. And when you say,
00:42:05you said at the beginning of your words, "I do this very easily," "sorry" that you do
00:42:09it easily. Probably the forgiveness is not that significant. No, or maybe, or
00:42:13maybe, because I'm not talking here about very difficult events. This is on the level
00:42:17of unpleasant exchanges that happened two
00:42:20months ago. This is on the level, on the level, this is inherently not a very
00:42:23significant event. So what, do I need to now delve and tell him, "No, you should know that in this small
00:42:27event, there was justice." There is meaning sometimes also, yes, to turn
00:42:31a new leaf, to stop dwelling on everything and say sorry and move on.
00:42:34Now, I'm not lying either. Sorry I hurt you, I really hurt you. Okay,
00:42:38so... That actually sounds like the apology you're
00:42:42describing is appropriate
00:42:44for the pattern of sin. That is, there is
00:42:48some connection between the things. I remind you not to make
00:42:51mountains out of molehills, but also not to make molehills out of
00:42:54mountains. And the tendency of the
00:42:57ultimate offender is to say, "Oh, come on, why are you making
00:43:00a fuss? Oh, come on, it was a joke. Oh, come on,
00:43:03you're making a scene out of everything."
00:43:05But
00:43:08all offenders like to...
00:43:36By the way, note that "mechila" (forgiveness/absolution) is something else. The Hebrew words related to the root "m.ch.l."
00:43:40To absolve, to wipe away, to forgive, to erase. They are all
00:43:43actions of concealing the thing.
00:43:47To forgive a debt is to erase it from the ledger.
00:43:50To crush a fly is to wipe it off the face of the earth.
00:43:54Yes. That's what we'd like to do with
00:43:58our sins - erase them. But the truth is
00:44:01that it's impossible. Good. So we also have a moment of apology, a moment of
00:44:05Hebrew. We are grateful to you, Rabbi Ilai Ofran,
00:44:09may you have...
00:48:29You know that when he finishes the song, Yonatan, he switches
00:48:32in his playlist
00:48:36to "Return us, Lord, to You, and we shall return," and
00:48:39it's so uplifting, everyone always sings it and everything, even on Tisha B'Av, which you mentioned
00:48:43in our program, they sing it with joy, with joy, with joy. And I always think, what
00:48:47is this nonsense, "Return us, Lord, to You, and we shall return." What
00:48:50are people longing for so much? For nothing they recognize,
00:48:54for nothing they knew before. It's a feeling like
00:48:57it used to be better. They say it was fun here before
00:49:01I was born, but you don't really know that,
00:49:05right? It's like they say "the youth of today," but
00:49:09my dear, the youth of today is fine. It's not that the youth of 40
00:49:12years ago was better. Youth is youth, Jewish society is
00:49:16Jewish society. The division of today is no more severe than the division of the past. That is,
00:49:20I hope, I want to believe not.
00:49:22But there's some kind of inner Jewish point that we
00:49:26like to long for, and it seems to me that on Yom Kippur it
00:49:29reaches its peak. Yes, so I'll give you a Hassidic interpretation
00:49:33of the famous song. They say it was fun here
00:49:36before I was born. Actually, a large part of the songs of the Land of Israel, at the level
00:49:39of the melodies, are Hassidic melodies. Yes, after all, the pioneers came
00:49:42here, they came to kibbutzim from Hassidic courts. They brought with them
00:49:46that inspiration, they brought with them the tunes. Not sometimes it's really the same tunes. There's
00:49:50a wonderful tune, "A..." "For behold, as clay in the hands
00:49:53of the potter," which is actually an old Russian song,
00:49:56yes.
00:49:59Exactly.
00:50:03Also, Hassidim sing it during the High Holy Days
00:50:06in synagogues. Yes, the melodies are the same melodies. But here I want to be precise
00:50:10about something in the content. They say, "It was fun here before I was born." That's not the simple meaning,
00:50:14no, that's not the "Pshat," as it's called. But, and I don't know if the poet
00:50:17intended it, but but a semi-Hassidic interpretation
00:50:20you can ask him about it. They say here:
00:50:24It's not here in the world during a period
00:50:28before we were born. It's ourselves
00:50:31before we were born. We were in a different atmosphere. Yes,
00:50:35we were under the Throne of Glory. We were before we descended to the chains
00:50:39of the body. We were souls
00:50:42in the metaphorical sense. And actually, "before I was born" means
00:50:45before we were forced out by another power. You
00:50:49live by another power. You are born. We didn't choose to come here. And then it gets
00:50:53complicated. And this longing that you are talking about, I don't think
00:50:56it's empty nostalgia, because every person has a longing, yes, for some
00:51:00primal point, such that it's
00:51:04not, it's less important whether he remembers something specific or
00:51:07not, because actually this longing has been with us almost from the beginning. Yes, it's
00:51:11the longing for a mother's hug at the very beginning. Yes, every time
00:51:14a mother hugs him and then leaves for a moment, the baby cries. Why? Because he wants
00:51:17his mother to hug him again. Exactly. So, so already
00:51:20at a few months old, we already long for that hug
00:51:24that was perhaps a minute ago and will be in another minute, but at that moment when it's not there, we long
00:51:28for it. And so all our lives we constantly have some
00:51:31longing within us. But this is what distinguishes man from beast. Without
00:51:35this, what are we? Why say "everything is the same," yes?
00:51:39This thing of returning, also the beauty in the word
00:51:41"Tshuva," which is from the root "to return," yes?
00:51:45There are in other languages, you know, regret,
00:51:48atonement, like to become a new person. There are other religions
00:51:57that when they talk about the process of purification, they talk about being reborn, becoming
00:52:01someone else. Notice that in Judaism, it's the same thing.
00:52:07And this is also the story of tradition, and I think that's part of the reason why Yom Kippur is
00:52:11so loved. Even if the people of Israel are not united,
00:52:14there are peaks in the year when we all do the same thing.
00:52:18That's Seder night, that's Rosh Hashanah night, that's Yom Kippur,
00:52:21that's Hanukkah, because even if we do it
00:52:25again, and really on Yom Kippur, everyone can do something different, but for everyone, Yom Kippur is a significant
00:52:29event. And also this "Return us, Lord, to You, and we shall return,"
00:52:32we want to follow the tradition, but each one of us gives it
00:52:36their personal touch, each one does it differently. We
00:52:40give birth like our mothers gave birth, right? The fedora,
00:52:43things, hospital, forget it, in the end we all give birth the same way, but we
00:52:47give birth to different children,
00:52:50and it's a bit different. We celebrate Yom Kippur, we mark Yom
00:52:54Kippur, like our parents, like our grandparents, like
00:52:57the founders of this spiritual
00:52:59nation celebrated and commemorated.
00:53:03And from this connection...
00:53:05We create the longing, and from this connection we want to return, but still
00:53:09do it a little differently. And that's the beauty, that's the fun,
00:53:13that on the one hand you can long, on the other hand you enjoy longing, and you still
00:53:17want to give birth to something new. You know who else repents on this day?
00:53:20Who? I'll tell you something provocative. Go ahead. God.
00:53:24How? Yes, we say in Psalms, "Return, Lord,
00:53:28and repent concerning Your servants." Return, Lord, come back
00:53:31to us, as if exactly.
00:53:34We
00:53:45also ask Him, yes, we won't get into matters of faith now, we have four minutes before the end.
00:53:48But there's something that you truly believe, you believe that the program
00:53:52can be extended, no problem. A disaster happens.
00:53:55When a disaster happens, what how do we define it? Hiding of faces.
00:53:59Yes, the Holy One, Blessed be He, hides from us. We don't want these hide-and-seek games. We said,
00:54:03"Come back, come back to us, come back."
00:54:05Thank you very much, nice. These light and shadow games, and the explanations
00:54:09afterwards that God is there, but not there, "We can see you,
00:54:12normal, come here, come here, let's see you." You know
00:54:16that, "Come here, let's see you." So we tell him, "Come here, let's see you." We
00:54:19want a good and sweet year. Why do we also say
00:54:22"sweet"? Because when you only say "good year," then always
00:54:26no matter what happens to you, you can be told, "No, it's actually good." Something happens to you, they tell you, "It's
00:54:30actually good." Which is the bringing of the decree. There's no radio. See from above. The period of
00:54:34this is us. We are not interested in a good year
00:54:37that might bring troubles and we'll be told that this is the true good. No, we want a good
00:54:41and sweet year. This is an unequivocal value that cannot be mistaken,
00:54:44in sweetness. It's impossible. When something is bitter for you, no one will tell you, "It's actually sweet
00:54:48for you, it's actually sweetness." No, bitter and sweet, that's something I feel
00:54:52in it, at the most physical, most basic level. We want a
00:54:55sweet year. What would they say about jalapeno jam?
00:54:59How is he in your transition? No, that's
00:55:02that, because you say.
00:55:12She took the horrible green spicy pepper that an Ashkenazi
00:55:15person puts down their throat and screams
00:55:19"Tata!" Yes, and my mother cooked it
00:55:22with honey and sugar, thinned it out, and in the end, it makes
00:55:25a circumcised child, and you get jalapeno jam, and you say, "What
00:55:29is this?" That's a good and sweet year. This is
00:55:32not... You haven't eaten jalapeno jam? I
00:55:35haven't. Message, please. Listener Kobi,
00:55:39take Mandy to some chef's restaurant to eat jalapeno
00:55:42jam. I'll try, and then come back to us until Sukkot and say. I also want
00:55:46to speak in praise, because we had a conversation here and of course, the Rabbi's honor and everything he
00:55:49said, uh, in praise. Everything he
00:55:52said is correct. In praise of the people who ask for forgiveness. I want to speak
00:55:55in praise of the generic. Often people say, "What is this, you're asking
00:55:59me for forgiveness on Erev Yom Kippur? If you really apologize, apologize
00:56:03in..." I agree.
00:56:15These people who say that, it's not that they really do
00:56:19some internal process with themselves, and suddenly in January you see them apologizing. No,
00:56:22they don't sit. What they do is actually
00:56:26to cancel the custom of this superficial and external
00:56:29language in favor of some kind of talk about "you need to apologize from the bottom of your heart," "you need to apologize
00:56:33from the bottom of your heart," but in the meantime...
00:56:55of an internal process on Rosh Hashanah eve, and normative people, I think, accept it with a "Wow!" And those less so, I don't know what the problematic internal process they are stuck in, wallowing in,
00:56:59they told me, "No, I don't know if it's really... I don't know if it was built
00:57:03on the process." I don't see it promoting healing.
00:57:07Wow, may God solve your problems, Amen. This
00:57:10year. Yesterday I heard from the Rabbanit, "He makes peace in His high places."
00:57:13Some things only He can fix. Thank you very much to my colleague
00:57:17Lifshitz.
00:57:18Thank you very much, sorry Amiti, sorry
00:57:22we hurt you. Thank you very much to Oat Cohen
00:57:26the producer. Thank you very much to Michael Alshwang. Thank you very much
00:57:29to Moriah, what a name. Thank you very much to Mandy Grozman. Thank you very much, dear listeners.
00:57:32May you have... We will meet here again on the eve of Sukkot.
00:57:36Right, we'll serve from the sukkah. Come on, jalapeno
00:57:39jam.
00:57:41Hello, my name is Dana. In the last
00:58:13year, I haven't managed to run five kilometers. I also haven't saved
00:58:16money, I haven't learned a new language, I haven't stopped
00:58:20sugar, nor gluten, nor caffeine. I haven't done anything
00:58:23for myself, I haven't even remembered to give my mother back the plastics. I'm
00:58:27a failure. And why am I a failure? Because I didn't stick to any
00:58:29of my New Year's resolutions.
00:58:32If the beginning of summer is marked by swarms of jellyfish that spoil the mood,
00:58:36at the end of summer, the whole air is filled with battalions of New Year's
00:58:40resolutions. This ritual, which in elementary school was called "expectations
00:58:43and fears," and in it, with our own hands, we set ourselves an utterly unattainable
00:58:47bar. And it's really fun to write these resolutions because they reflect
00:58:51a fictional reality that is higher, more intense, and richer.
00:58:55According to a study by the US News newspaper,
00:58:5980% of New Year's resolutions last less
00:59:02than a month. This is in the US, but come on, we're no better than them.
00:59:06Oh, and another thing: a study from the University of Chicago found that people only
00:59:10fulfill resolutions that give them immediate pleasure. Running five
00:59:13kilometers? Less so. Eating
00:59:15sweets? Yes.
00:59:18But the worst are New Year's resolutions on Facebook. If at the end of the month
00:59:22of Av the feed fills with closet poets, secret Lapid supporters,
00:59:26and sackcloth photographers who are really eager to tell how much better
00:59:29they will be in another 12 months. Life hack: don't make
00:59:33resolutions you can't keep in front of an audience of bored strangers. Unless
00:59:36you're at an induction ceremony, and then your mom is really proud of you. My New Year's
00:59:40resolution is to appreciate laziness. To bless all the times
00:59:43I skipped sports to watch a TV show or TV, and every time
00:59:47I decided not to leave the house to read a book. You are invited to join
00:59:51me and write New Year's resolutions not for some fake
00:59:54character you'll never be, but for the chubby, lazy,
00:59:58and proud people you already are.
01:00:17Hello and good morning. It's nine o'clock. We have a news update.
01:00:21A senior official in the UAE denies the report that Prime Minister
01:00:24Netanyahu was warned by the President of the Emirates, Ben Zayed, before
01:00:28October 7th. In an interview with the Emirati newspaper The National,
01:00:32the senior official, who was interviewed anonymously, explained that the Emirates
01:00:36discusses security issues with other countries through
01:00:39the relevant bodies and does not discuss such details
01:00:42at the leadership level. The senior official's remarks clarify
01:00:46the official response of...
01:00:57President Isaac Herzog announced that he decided to cancel the.